It happened on accident really. I think before this event, which has changed my life, I was always one to think more about myself and less about everyone else. However, six years ago I was on a bus to meet the man that changed my life. The idea of an Internet romance is corny, at best, but I had spoken to this man for years on the Internet and we were just a state apart. So, when he told me he was staying at school and would not be celebrating Thanksgiving I shocked even myself by concocting a plan to visit him.
I would cook him Thanksgiving dinner and we could enjoy the holiday together as friends. Funny, how things change so quickly. I cannot help but recall the romantic movies where a woman feels a spark and knows that he is the man that she wants to be with forever. It was something like that. Of course, the fact that he was in a wheelchair was very surreal to me at the time.
I quickly began asking questions. I had planned to head home that same week, but during that short time, I got my first taste of caretaking. His personal assistant was paged when he needed assistance, but he did not think they would make it in time as he was not feeling well. I jumped into the role and as he told me what to do, I patiently and helpfully followed his instructions.
It was frightening in a sense and I attempted to be overly careful because I did not want to hurt him. He was fragile to me then, though now, six years later I see him as being indestructible in many important ways.
He cried that night, embarrassed and ashamed that I needed to help him. He seemed afraid that needing that help would make me want to leave and never return. Yet there was a side of me that quickly grew to want him to ask me to do things for him. I would watch his assistants while I was with him that week.
I attempted to learn proper lifting techniques, how to bathe him and how to do other things he needed. As our relationship progressed, I would say I wanted to be the one to care for him and he would adamantly refuse. He believed it was too hard on a relationship while I believed it was even harder watching a paid employee mismanage his care.
After much debate, arguments, begging, and pleading he finally succumbed and allowed me to take over his care. The personal assistants were all let go and it was just me and him. Those were the good old days. He could stand up then. That was until the accident happened. On a rush to get him to class one morning he fell from his shower chair. I remember standing behind him, holding him up partially so that he would not fall completely. He stood trapped on his leg, which was bent, as we waited for the paramedics to come.
(more…)
Please support MDP United by buying a coffee.
Written by Ashtyn - Visit My Website
--------------------------
I’m the founder of MDP United, because I feel that those with Muscular Dystrophy have so much to offer others. The problem is that many of us face barriers that keep us from being independent. Things like inaccessible housing, a lack of wheelchair accessible transportation and inability to access funds to pay for equipment such as wheelchairs, Hoyer lifts, and other necessary every day devices limit our ability towards success.